Have you ever toyed with the idea of going sober? I did it, and here's how it's going.

I was never a drinker in high school because I was a rule follower. And because I was scared of getting caught equally as much as I was afraid of getting drunk and not being able to control myself. Also, I really, really, really hated throwing up. These three reasons kept me a teetotaler for four years.  

Then, I went to college. Things changed a bit but not too aggressively. I definitely drank with friends and at frat parties, but I generally kept it under control. 

Then I graduated and moved back home. Neither of my parents were much on alcohol, and it wasn’t typically around, so I didn’t miss it much. I share this background as a way of explaining my decision to stop drinking alcohol. I should also add that my grandfather was an alcoholic, and I fear addiction runs in the genes. That said, I have been sober for a couple of years and highly recommend it (most days).    

This won't be news, but generally, chemicals are not good for you, especially if you are self diagnosing or self dispensing. This includes alcohol. Bummer, I know. 

If you want to quit or go soberish, you can. If that's a hard pass, I get it. You do you.

If you want to quit or cut back (often referred to as being soberish), now is a great time while you are creating new habits and there are so many new alternatives available.  

I was soberish for almost a year before I officially quit. Here’s how I did it: 

Step one: I got it (mostly) out of our home. When it was a hassle to go out and get it, this made me reassess how much I really wanted it. Mostly, it was not enough to drink my husband’s flavors (yuck). 

Step two: I needed to figure out the times I craved a drink the most. For me, it was transitioning from “Work Gretchen” to “Home Gretchen.” 

Are you a pre-gamer, drinking when you’re getting ready to go out? Is it Sunday afternoon football beers with friends? Perhaps it’s Sunday brunch mimosas? Maybe it’s just when you want to celebrate or when you’re sad? Or maybe it’s just because you’re bored and it’s an easy habit to share with others? Find out what your trigger is, then chart it for a few weeks. Raise your awareness before you make any changes. 

Step three: I tried any and every kind and brand n/a drink I could find: kombucha, n/a beers and wines, adaptogen options, teas, whatever checks the box for your specific drink. I started with half and half, real alcohol and the fake stuff. I could definitely tell the difference at first, so my half and half was more like 70-30 to start. Over time I reversed the ratio until I just used the ‘fake stuff’ mostly. My taste had adjusted, and I used a lot of mixers (juice, fruits, herbs), fun ice trays, and special glasses. This made it simple and fun. Now I do a lot of kombucha and popsicles on the back porch. Not together. Works wonders! 

Perhaps alcohol is not your chemical enhancer of choice. Maybe smoking is more up your alley, or maybe it's pills. I'm not judging. I do know that there's plenty of science that supports the negative impact that these vices have on our health. That said, I spent much of my time in college with a cigarette in my hand. 

I was able to quit that as well. I don't remember who shared this plan with me, but I did not create it. Here is how I did it: I gave up the first cigarette that I smoked each day, which was typically sometime between breakfast and lunch. That was it. I smoked as much as I wanted the rest of the day and just gave up that first one. About a week later, I gave up the second one of the day which had become the first. I smoked as much as I wanted for the rest of the day, but I got rid of that cigarette right after lunch. I continued this process until it didn't really matter to me whether or not I smoked one or two cigarettes so late in the day. Every person is their own chemical concoction, and what worked for me may or may not work for anyone else. But if you are determined to make a healthier choice and to stop using chemicals that hurt your body, this is one way to try.

Why choose sobriety? Well, there are the aforementioned health benefits, but more specifically, some of the negative health effects associated with drinking alcohol or smoking are pretty awful and effect not only you, but the people around you. 

But what I’ve noticed more that the physical improvements - better sleep, happier tummy, more energy, and clearer skin to name a few - are the mental improvements. I have more moments of contentment. That ability to pause before reacting has improved. 

In general, I see this choice as both a boundary I have chosen to set for now, and an act of self-compassion. I am taking care of myself in a way I have not chosen to before now.

If you are looking for some resources, check out Kayla Lyons and her book Soberish as well as follow No Booze Babes (Shea Gomez) on Instagram - she showed me that life can be amazing and sober at the same time!

You are not defined by your vices. You have the power to make choices that serve you.

Take care of yourself... I'm rooting for you!