Self-Worth: How to Recognize and Embrace Your Value
- Gretchen Hall
- Oct 2, 2024
- 3 min read
Updated: Nov 10, 2024
Healing begins with self-awareness, and knowing your own value is a key factor to making progress and moving through your next chapter.
Try these methods for rewriting your self image and tapping into your self worth. Follow the order of the prompts and complete each journaling exercise. We suggest having your journal or digital notes.
I feel I must begin with a confession: I am addicted to making lists. So, in many of these posts, you’ll see suggestions to list out on paper what you’re thinking.
In the case of knowing your worth, I suggest you make a list of all the positives you see in yourself. Get detailed.
Don’t just write, “I am kind.” Write out how you are kind.
Don’t just write, “I compliment others.”
Instead, say, “I make a point to comment on new hairstyles or outfits, especially hairstyles, because it’s something you wear everywhere. Knowing you look good makes you feel good. As a pleaser by nature, I love making others feel good about themselves.”
Your kindness is personal and intentional, not just obligatory.
Don’t just say, “I think about other people a lot.”
Say, “I remember little details about what people like or enjoy, and I love surprising them with a small gift (one of my love languages). The gifts don’t have to be expensive—just a little something to show I’ve been thinking about them and that I pay attention to the things they share.”
Your thoughtfulness goes beyond thinking— it moves into action.
Don’t just say, “I try to connect with others.”
Say, “As a book lover, one way I connect with others is by recommending books they may enjoy. I’ll explain what made me think of them, always focusing on a positive trait or experience they’ve shared with me.”
See the difference?
Now, write five to ten positives about yourself. Explore physical, emotional, intellectual, and social qualities. They all count.
Keep the list handy—on your phone, in your purse, wherever you’ll see it. And don’t just read it once. Read and reread it. Start your day with it.
While you’re rediscovering your worth, it’s essential to pair this practice with self-compassion. This means allowing yourself the grace to be imperfect, and to heal in your own time. Self-compassion isn't just about kindness toward others, but also toward yourself, especially when you're struggling.
Here’s how self-compassion might look:
When you read your list of positives, if you feel doubtful, remind yourself that it’s okay to be in a healing process. You are allowed to be a work in progress.
When negative thoughts about yourself arise, recognize them without judgment, and replace them with affirmations from your list.
If you feel drained or inadequate, remind yourself that taking care of your needs first is not selfish—it’s essential. Healing takes energy, and you’re worthy of your own care.
Self-compassion helps you avoid falling into the trap of self-criticism. You’ve survived a relationship where someone likely exploited your kindness, but now, it’s time to turn that kindness inward.
Throughout the day, observe. This may be challenging in a fast-paced world, but it’s worth the effort.
Look for moments of positive interaction. Watch how your positivity makes the world better. That, right there, is your unique strength. It’s what makes you amazing, beautiful, important, and unique.
That strength is your superpower. Own it. Nurture it. Protect it. Wear it like a crown.
You. Are. Amazing.
Tell yourself that every day.
As you read your list, let it remind you of who you were before someone else tried to steal that from you. Piece by piece, you’re rebuilding yourself—not back to the person you were, but to a better version of yourself. One who knows her worth deeply and fully.
If you have a trusted friend, share this practice with them. Sometimes, they can add things to your list that you may not even realize about yourself.
Over time, you won’t need to refer to the list. You’ll have internalized it. These details will feel like second nature, like remembering something special about someone else you care about.
That’s when you’ve arrived at the most important realization: you care about yourself, too.
You are valuable in a way no one else is. When you begin to recognize and believe that, you will find the strength to grow, to heal, and to reclaim your life. This is not just about surviving—this is about thriving in your next chapter.
Now, go ahead—write your list. Embrace it. And, most importantly, believe it. You deserve nothing less.
